I haven't done too badly as a postdoc. I have a fair-sized pile of publications in good journals, a prestigous fellowship, and a handful of productive collaborations. I'm in a fairly good position to get some funding for an independent research program, which I could then use to nail down a faculty position. After that, the next hurdle would be to secure a large federal grant like an RO1. That would make me an established, independent scientist, and then who knows - NAS membership? Endowed chair? Nobel Prize? Maybe even a page on WikiPedia.
Only that isn't the plan - not any more.
A decade ago, I stepped into the pipeline by joining a lab as an undergrad research assistant. Ever since, I could see at least a vague outline of each subsequent step-- enroll in graduate school; obtain a fellowship; publish papers; defend thesis; obtain a postdoc position; obtain another fellowship; publish more papers. Sometimes the steps have been challenging, but I always had faith that I could succeed and I was willing to work hard. I haven't failed at any of the steps yet. Now, once again, I can see the next step (get my independent project funded), but for the first time in a decade I am making the conscious decision not to pursue it.
Though I see a lot that's wrong with the world of science, and though I've had my share of dark days, I refuse to think of myself as a disgruntled postdoc. I have too much to be thankful for. It's just that I look at the next step in the scientific pipeline, and though I see that it works out reasonably well for some , I have weighed it for myself and decided that I can come up with a better plan. I am still relatively young, I have a lot to offer the world, and I am convinced that I can find a way to fit in to society other than as a professor. I know this process will take longer than a day or a week, maybe longer than a year. Thank you, academic science-- I hope we have learned something from each other. I am now walking toward the exits.
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